Before I Wake
by Aromene
Summary: She had come to Atlantis seeking her future, the last thing she had expected to find was her past.


**Disclaimer: Still Not Mine.**

**Spoilers: Well, I assume you've all **_**seen**_** season one…but Before I Sleep and Rising are really the only pointers here.**

**Summary: She had come to Atlantis seeking her future; the last thing she had expected to find was her past. **

* * *

When they find the stasis chamber she is not certain what to think. She is partly excited at the prospect of meeting an Ancient, partly concerned about why said Ancient is still there, and partly sad, because whoever this woman is she has been alone for 10,000 years; abandoned, just like Atlantis, on the bottom of the sea on a planet all but forgotten. 

When she first opens her eyes, Elizabeth knows she's awake and aware. She barely hears Rodney's words. There is something familiar about this Ancient; something tingling at the back of her mind that she just can't pin-point. She is thoroughly disappointed when the old woman falls asleep.

A thrill of excitement runs through her when Carson calls to tell them she is awake. A million questions are running through her head, and she has no idea which to ask first. No idea if she even can ask and expect an answer. She's hoping with all of her being that they can find the answers they need. The answer that will help them to survive.

Shock, uncertainty, confusion; all these run through her in a manner of seconds when the woman looks at her. When she sees right through her and whispers those three words. Elizabeth is not aware of the others around her. Has no idea Rodney is looking at her as though his world has suddenly been flipped. She does not hear Carson gasp. She is focused entirely on the woman in front of her. The woman that should be an Ancient, abandoned in Atlantis like everything else, but instead is her own image 10,000 years old. She can only listen as Old Elizabeth explains to them that they found a way back in time; a way to change the past to save the future.

She is more confused than anything else by the time the old woman falls back asleep. She looks around to find that they are both looking at her, which is both unnerving and perfectly understandable.

Carson is the first to glance away. He picks up a data pad and twiddles the pen in his hand, and finally is able to raise his eyes to meet hers. "I'll run a DNA test," is all he says before making a bee-line out of the room far faster that she think appropriate.

She glances left at Rodney. He just stares back; for the first time in as long as she has known him he is at a loss for words.

"Conference room. Now." She walks out; Rodney follows, still silent.

Ford and John meet them along the way. John looks curious, but she does not answer his silent question. Not here, out in the open hallways where they can be overheard. This has not yet moved passed a need-to-know situation. Teyla is waiting in the control room when they reach the stairs. Elizabeth just nods for her to join them.

She explains in simple words what was explained to her. Ford looks incredulous, for which she can not blame him. Rodney is thinking. She does not know whether he is formulating theories on time travel, or formulating ways to tell her the woman is off her rocker. Teyla looks confused, which Elizabeth perfectly understands because she's not certain she understands it either.

John is looking at her like he sees her in an entirely different way then he did five minutes ago. She looks away quickly.

The first words out of Rodney's mouth confirm he was thinking along the lines of thought B. He follows this immediately by thought A, though, and she supposes she should know by now that Rodney is nothing else if not a great multi-tasker.

The room silences when Carson walks in. She imagines she could hear a pin drop. The doctor looks almost apologetic as he hands her the data pad. She can't bring herself to look at it. Suddenly, inexplicably, she hopes that this is all a dream.

"She is you."

The silence deepens.

* * *

The next few hours are a blur to her. There is too much information for her to process, and too many emotions warring within her that she cannot seem to settle herself. Some part of her can't help but wonder why the thought has not previously occurred to any of them. They are all aware that such things exist; have in fact happened before, but none of them for one moment thought that in 10,000 years something had been changed. She supposes that no one wanted to believe they weren't the first ones there. She laughs to herself at that thought because technically it _was_ them. 

Old Elizabeth is quite a good story teller. Elizabeth looses herself in remembering; can feel the rush of excitement that she felt when they first stepped foot on this side of the gate. Remembers the terror that followed; the utter fear of loosing everything they had just found. When she tells of Sumner's death, Elizabeth has a brief moment of grief flit through her for their own Sumner. Her heart clenches a little when she tells of Rodney's death, and then Ford's and Carson's. Some part of her wells with emotion when she is told that John stayed with her to the last, even in this alternative timeline.

She can imagine Old Elizabeth's confusion when the jumper reappeared in space. She knows exactly what was running through her head in that moment; because she realizes they really aren't any different. Their choices are the same; their emotions run the same path. They are different solely because their lives unfolded differently.

She can see the affection flickering in the other Elizabeth's eyes when she speaks of Janis. She feels it in some part of herself too. She is almost sorry she did not have the chance to meet him. She feels frustration at the Ancients because they would not help. She is starting to like the builders of Atlantis less and less with each passing day.

She wonders if she would have the courage to do what the other her did. Wonders if she could have found the strength to go on after everything had been taken from her. She hopes she never has to find out.

She lets the grief wash over her as her alternate self is finally released from life. She feels as if she has lost a sister or dear friend, or maybe a part of her has died. She can see the understanding in John's eyes when he looks at her. She is grateful for it.

She had come to Atlantis seeking her future; the last thing she had expected to find was her past. But she understands now, in a way she knows she couldn't before, that both the past and present are intertwined with each other. Atlantis is all of their futures, and all of their pasts, and this is not the last time the two will come together at the same moment.

She looks forward, with wonder, to the next time it happens.


End file.
